Hope deferred? Don't let it happen

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled (lit. coming) is a tree of life." -- Proverbs 13:12 (NASB)

I have still not seen very much of what I hoped for when I was in my 20s. I used to ache over this verse. For years, I asked God fervently why my hope was still deferred. My heartsickness was obviously all his fault.

As I thought about it again much later, I guess my prayer was answered in a way. God answered that I had misinterpreted and misrepresented the verse for years. I eventually realized that hope is not the same as the thing hoped for, and desire is not the same as the thing desired.

Hope means expectation. It can work over a very long span of time. In Genesis, Abraham continued to hope for a son even after his wife was post-menopausal and he himself was apparently impotent. Paul says he hoped against hope. That hope kept him faithful to God until, finally, Isaac was born.

During all that time, Abraham had hope. He just didn't have a son. We do not see Abraham heartsick, because we do not see hope deferred. The person who, disappointed at delay, gives up hope has deferred, or put off, hope. No wonder he or she has a sick heart.

Another verse puzzled me greatly: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."-- Psalm 37:4 (NASB) I poured out the desires of my heart to him over and over. Why did nothing happen?

Obviously, in hindsight, I spent so much energy scolding him for not doing my bidding that I couldn't possibly delight in him. More to the point, again, desire is not the same as the thing desired. First, delight yourself in the Lord, then he will put a desire in your heart.

As the NASB's marginal note in the proverb makes clear, the coming of the desire is a tree of life, long before the object of desire manifests. When God gives a desire, he also gives the promise of its fulfillment. Then we wait for it in hope. We wait with the expectation that God will keep his promise, for that is his nature.

When God gives a desire, it may feel so clear and definite that we'll get the object in hand in about fifteen minutes. Remember: Abraham was 75 when he first believed God's promise, 86 when he thought it was fulfilled with Ishmael, and 99 when Isaac finally came along. The wait can disappoint. Hope cannot. Don't defer it.